Tag: pastoral care

Bad Does Not Become Good

Good will come of this, even this pandemic. Yes, it is true. Perhaps we will re-prioritize, perceive and experience community in a better way, maybe have more meaningful greetings than a tossed-off, “Hi howya doin’?” But what is true does not always have to be spoken, at least not without great care for the circumstances of the intended recipient. The issue? Good can come from the bad; this does not make the bad good.

 Consider what you go through in a personal crisis (which might be the case now in conjunction with the public one). When you are in the midst of anxiety, uncertainty and pain, how helpful is it for some chronic advice-giver to come along and point out to you all the good that will come of it? Not very. Not at all. It just makes things worse. It is good and important, at some point, to find reason for gratitude in our circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18), but never for all circumstances. That would make the bad good. Good can and will come out of the bad. That is God’s doing. That means God is good, not our circumstances.

Let’s be careful about pointing out the good that will come from bad things. Some of us will be nowhere near ready to hear it.

More Reason for One Another

More of us, internationally, are getting some form of dementia earlier. As reported in various media, a study published in the Surgical Neurology International Journal indicates early onset dementia, which used to occur in people in their late 60s, now is found in people in their late 40s.  And it’s not simply a matter of better diagnosis; it is suggested the rate of increase must involve environmental factors.

While it would be great if we could just fix those environmental factors, it is a sign we need, all the more, to practise care for one another, and not just leave it to professional caregivers to look after our loved ones. It is remarkable how often the Bible uses the words “one another.” There are dozens of “one another” sayings in the New Testament alone, among them, in the Epistles, “Offer hospitality to one another” (1 Peter 4:9), “Be devoted to one another in love” (Romans 12:10), “Keep on loving one another” (Hebrews 13:1), and from Jesus, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34).

Our interdepency is not, however, just a “fallback” position for when things do not go as we plan. It is how we are meant to live all the time. Some things just remind of this more poignantly than others.

Happy

You can hardly go anywhere these days without hearing the Pharrell Williams song, “Happy.” A report by Carol Graham of the Brookings Institute may indicate that it will not resonate with people uniformly through the life cycle, at least as Brookings Institute report might indicate.

Apparently there is a worldwide trend for people to have a U-shaped pattern to their life-long degree of happiness. Middle age is tough, it seems. Well, middle age can be especially tough. I would not want to minimize, having had my own very low times, how difficult certain seasons and circumstances of life can be. But there is hope to sustain us through those times.

In Romans 15:13 Paul indicates that there is a happiness that does not depend on circumstances.  There is joy, which is not to be taken necessarily  as a jump-up-and-down kind of thing (though it certainly can be), but is based on the certain knowledge that there is the Lord who loves and values us, and has a purpose for us. We know of this, and put it into practice in various ways, through the welcoming of the Holy Spirit.

And, as the context Romans 15:13 makes clear, mutuality of acceptance and service is key to experiencing such enduring inner peace.

 

Authentic When and Though it Hurts

The Spanish prime minister is being criticized heavily for what is called a “cut and paste” response to the horrible train tragedy in the north of his country. He is not alone in this kind of thing. Either through awkwardness and fear of saying the ‘wrong’ thing, or just outright aloofness and insensitivity, there are those of us who seem to have a catalog of prepared platitudes and facial expressions for any occasion. This kind of approach might work in business, legal dealings and backroom politics, but I have even known and experienced it to be used in church circles. We certainly need to be more authentically human, which is to say Christ-like, with one another than that.