“That’s frustrating”
I trained as a student minister for a whole year under a hospital chaplain. He once made the observation that you can respond to pretty much whatever anyone says with “That’s frustrating,” and you will find you have connected with them in a meaningful way. An exaggeration? Anyone, anytime? Yes, that’s an exaggeration—but not that much of one.
I never did actually try it, and would not recommend experimenting with people’s feelings. But I did try for a while imagining what it would be like responding with “That’s frustrating” to what people were actually saying, while responding more authentically (It may sound complicated, but it’s amazing what a mind—even mine— can handle). If you keep that response in mind in conversations you have, you may find it surprising how often it would actually fit the context. I take this as a measure of the level of frustration, or disappointment, anger, and anxiety that are inside us.
Consider the casual encounters we have any given day—perhaps more significant for many of us through a time when there has been a widespread experience of isolation. The words we share then are rarely profound. But do we ever in these encounters, with those scintillating comments on the weather, make eye contact? Probably not. But there is something to try. I have been making a point of this, and it can bring a subtle but important transformation to the brief experience. We communicate much more with brief eye contact (prolonged would be creepy) than with most words. And it may be the only connection of any kind that person might have for the day.
Faith language uses the term “atonement” for (re)connecting the divine and human. Making connection with another living soul is itself a kind of salvation, overcoming alone-ness. In a real sense, we “save” one another by overcoming isolation. In our everyday chance encounters, there are faces to look into, and people need to see your eyes (so get those shades off).
And maybe check out this song, Searching Faces.